It makes me sick

...to think of the selfishness of some people. I can't take away the fact that my own imperfections are a likely cause for a large part of my own misfortunes in life - but I can't help but marvel at the audacity that others will stoop to for their own benefit.

My entire life I have dealt with a sort of social anxiety. Why? I don't know. But I have dealt with something. I always want to feel accepted by others. I'm always longing to "be there" for someone so that in my times of need someone might "be there" for me. But for some reason or another, I never can seem to nail the whole "best friend" thing down. I have those that I would have considered my best friend, but when you have to try so hard to just keep in touch that always fades. It amazing how much one person can take control of one's life, and literally play with it like a cheap piece of putty - molding it and fitting it every which way until it hardens and crumbles to pieces on the floor.

Isolation.

I isolate myself in situations where I feel threatened or uncomfortable. This is so at that time of vulnerability, people can't judge me. Problem is, they do anyways. And they'll judge you too. Of course you won't care - but you might one day. One day, you just might.